Partly Facetious: Middlesex is a British county

"It was a day of rejoicing."
"Indeed, the Khanzadehs were ecstatic after the former First Daughter's bid to take over the party failed."
"What do you mean?"
"She had Parveen Rashid as her right hand and Uzma Bukhari as her left hand and..."
"Stop at once - it's Parvez Rashid, and Middlesex is a British county that the lower middle classes who form the bulk of our electorate simply are not aware of. They split the name Middlesex, like Parvez Rashid..."
"It's my keyboard."
"Three years later if you still haven't changed your key board then you are eligible for the Ehsaas programme...anyway Parvez Rashid has a constituency of one, that is Nawaz Sharif, and Uzma Bukhari is a provincial minister and has engaged in some lotacracy so next time perhaps the First Daughter needs to review her narrative before calling a press conference..."
"Why do you think Maryam Nawaz's bid failed? Her husband said that only Nawaz Sharif's narrative prevails and the former First Daughter has passed on her bangles and now wears shackles and..."
"You know that reminds me - when Bilawal visited Raiwind for lunch he shook the Captain's hand with much warmth and a smile and frankly I never saw any member of the Sharif clan including Nawaz Sharif shaking his hand with such obvious pleasure. But anyway she lost as Shahbaz Sharif never uttered a word and she retracted after 24 hours - and really blaming the media for misrepresentation is a rather silly approach when her interview is on tape."
"Nothing ventured nothing gained I say. Anyway when I say it was a day of rejoicing I was referring to our cricket win against South Africa."
"Right, now all we have to do is pray for some other teams to lose and for us to win all the remaining matches and viola! We are in the semi finals."
"And for that we must be grateful to our cricket team - from playing like third graders to one of the best teams takes them just two matches one after the other."
"So why should we be grateful for such erratic play?"
"Because it keeps our people on the narrow path to religiosity."
"Amen."